Unlike most women out there, my resolution for the new year was to have my 3 year & 5 month old son potty trained. Let's back track for a moment....
At 22 months we had our first week-long attempt at potty training. I purchased the book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" by Nathan Azrin and did my homework! I purchased a Corolle Mon Premier Calin Sky male peeing doll (yes, they do make those) and confined myself and my son to a 400 sf room to begin attempt #1 at potty training. My son found it more entertaining to feed the baby doll than try to understand how it functions. So, after 3 very unsuccessful days, I decided to wait and come back to the issue in a few months.
At the time, I was a working mommy so my availability to stay home with my son and focus solely on his potty training needs were very limited. But, at 28 months, I took 3 days off of work before my normal weekend so I would have 5 full days to dedicate to this challenge. And so began attempt #2! I decided to try a mixture of recommendations from fellow moms, bloggers and books. I bought every toilet training gadget imaginable. We used the Mommy's Helper Contoured Cushie Step Up in case he wanted to use the big potty and we used the Fisher Price Cheer for Me Potty as his main potty which was kept in the living room so he had "quick access". I absolutely loved the potty! Compared to some of the other potties I had experienced training with, this one worked perfect for little boys because the splash guard shield was a little taller, so less chance they would miss the toilet. And, it was easy to clean. I had an arsenal of his favorite candy and some books handy. I decided to use the 15 minute rule where I would ask him if he needed to go every 15 minutes and make him go every 30 minutes. I made sure to give him plenty of fluids so he could learn what an "urge" feels like. When successful, he would get one piece of candy when he peed in the toilet and 2 pieces when he pooped. Well, he soon figured out he could hold his pee in just enough to go over and over again to get more candy. So, I resorted to books. Every time I took him to the potty, I would give him a book to read on the toilet but after using them for aiming practice, it became apparent that idea was not going to work either. We confined ourselves to the house for 3 days and I was still changing underwear as frequently as I was changing diapers and my little guy had no shame in wearing the soiled underwear. When he looked at me with tears in his eyes asking me "why" when I would make him sit on the potty after an accident, I knew he just wasn't getting it!
Austin is a very smart boy. He was speaking clearly at 18 months, counting at 2 years old. And even now, he never ceases to amaze me. He told me today that hay bales were compost! I mean, what 3 year old knows about compost?!?! So when he turned 3, I knew I had to give another attempt to potty training.
We set off to a nearby store where I let him pick out his own underwear. After all, he had outgrown the 50 pairs I had previously bought! I had him watch the Elmo's Potty Time DVD daily for about 3 days before we started attempt #3. This time I changed it up and decided to introduce him to peeing outdoors and standing up at the toilet. I used fruit loops in the toilet for him to aim at, but I soon discovered he did not like the standing up position at all! It was smack dab in the middle of a scorching Texas summer so we often spent many days soaking in our little pool together so when he had to pee, I figured I would see how he enjoyed peeing outside. Well, he LOVED it! But, then came the issue where he would pee his underwear in the house, then run outside and pee in the backyard. Oh, and did I mention the time he decided to step out of my mother's pool and poop on the grass in her backyard? Yeah, that whole idea was not working very well. Point is, we were still having accidents DAILY and he did not grasp the concept of running to the potty at the time of urge instead of after an accident. My mother was so convinced he could easily be potty trained that she even tried training him for 3 days while my husband and I went on a mini-vacay. She called me on our way back the 3rd day and let me know that she understood my frustrations (not often you hear that from your mom). If I let him run around the house naked, he would never have an accident. So, I knew that he understood what an urge felt like and had developed bladder control. But as soon as I put underwear on him, he would treat it just like a diaper! So, it was a convenience factor - he just didn't want to take the time to stop playing and go to the restroom. At this point, I began looking for private potty training companies with potty training fairies I could hire to work magic on my son. No joke! By the way, there is a market for that. I couldn't find one potty training business in the city of Houston!
So, my new years resolution for 2013 was to have my son potty trained. January 2nd came around and we both ended up with a terrible virus. Who would have guessed, right? So we put it off for a few days and on January 4th we started with attempt #4. I will be honest - during 2 of the previous 3 attempts, I was working full time so I was "not in the game" so to speak and the last attempt was so frustrating that I probably didn't react to him in the most encouraging way when he did manage to pee in the toilet. But, going into this attempt I had made up my mind it would be the final one. That he would learn no matter how long it took. After all, I am a stay at home mommy now so I could adjust my schedule to make sure we stayed home long enough for it to happen. I bought 5 hot wheels cars and taped them to the refrigerator. I told him for every day he did not have an accident, he would get to pick out a car. The first day, January 4th, was a day full of time outs and long talks. He would pee in his underwear, I would send him to the toilet then he would stand in time out for 3 minutes and afterwards we would discuss why he was in timeout. Timeouts may seem like a form of punishment to some, but it worked. My son hates to sit still. He has not napped since he was 2.5 years old and he plays hard from 8am until 9pm. So the timeout really got his attention. I began to notice him making faces (like an oh crap! face) right before he had accidents. So I would catch him and ask him if he needed to potty and I kept doing that over and over and using timeouts as punishment for accidents and the hardest thing of all was to stick to my rule... no hot wheels car until you have an accident-free day. That night, I put a pull-up on him and the next morning he was still dry. He woke up and said he needed to potty. Hallelujah! From that morning, he has not had a single accident! We use pull-ups at night for now (will break that in about a week). I cannot put into words how much easier it has been going to the store and having him tell me he has to potty instead of me checking his diaper every 15 minutes. I am still in disbelief of how easily it just happened!
So mommies, when people tell you that a child will let you know when they are ready... don't take it literally. My son never had an interest. His cousins would come over and he proudly wore his diaper around them. He never wanted to take the time to go sit on a potty when he could use that time playing with his toys and pottying in his diaper at the same time (who ever said a guy can't multi-task?). But if you, as the parent, see signs that your child has bladder control, you might have to just put on your game face and jump in. No child is the same - I had moms telling me their child was trained at 2 years old and others saying their child potty trained one month before starting pre-k. But, if it helps, just know that it is possible and will happen with time and if you are trying and not seeing results, do not blame yourself! Just take a break and try again in a few months. I wish you mommies all the best in training your little ones! Austin gets to take his first plane ride in a month so that will be our biggest challenge. Any moms out there with travel gadgets or ideas for newly potty trained kiddos, please share!
